Stage I: Rediscover Your Purpose
Welcome to Stage I of finding your purpose. You making it to this post is already great progress. This means that you have recently acknowledged that you are feeling a bit lost or that life is just going on, as it always seems to do, and you are stuck but see a brighter future for yourself.
You see, the thing is life really is like a game of chess. You can anticipate every possible move that can be made against you. You can calculate your every move and believe with certainty what your outcome will be. Yet, with chess and life you may not be able to predict everything. Sometimes, things just happen, people just do and you must keep everything together as best you can. Life can be so overwhelming with all of the demands and necessary work to do, that at times it may feel like you are putting in effort and yielding no results.
This is where we are at right this very moment. The difference with this moment is that we are going to take a new approach on what our next move will be. By reading the three steps in this first stage of rediscovering your purpose, we will tackle some obstacles that you struggle with. In stage two we will take what we developed and pursue our purpose with intention and with determination. You are all encouraged to take from this as much as you can and feel free to customize this process to best fit your needs.
Side note: As a muslim I am proud of the strength my faith has given me. However you do not need to be a muslim to be proud of the strength your faith has given you or to read this post. Believe it or not I am human just like you and as a human I also strive to be a better version of myself. This process has helped me immensely and I hope it will give you the direction and drive it gave me. Without further ado…
Stage I
I. New chapter
One of these goals should be accepting and letting go of the past. Before you move on to the next chapter and embrace the next stage, bear in mind that you do not have to abandon yourself to make a better version of you or to move on to the next step faster.
Instead honor your past. Allow yourself to grieve for all of the dreams and goals that you did not reach or that you gave up on. Grief is not necessarily a bad thing nor is the anger, sadness, guilt, frustration, abandonment, refusal, or the denial that you may feel. Forgive yourself for your losses. Acknowledge that you did the best you could with what you had. Even if you know deep down you did not give it your all every single time, you still did what you thought best at that given moment. And there is nothing wrong with that. There is a lesson to be learned with every mistake or mishap we experience.
The best thing you can do right now for yourself is to open your heart. Forgive yourself for all of the hurt. Allow yourself to feel what lingers so deeply in your heart. Take as much time as you need, there is no time limit. Just give it the time it deserves. The best time to open your soul’s vulnerabilities is while you meditate, or go for a long walk. It can be anything that you enjoy doing alone. My favorite time is at Fajr. There is just something so serene and humbling that early in the morning when I am sitting alone talking to God. It reminds me truly how merciful Allah really is. For He is Ar-Rahman. As his creations we should be merciful towards ourselves and towards each other. Whatever you decide to do to honor and grieve your past ask Allah for relief from the pain and to give you the strength to become stronger and wiser.
II. Proclaim that you are enough
Mourning or grieving your past can be emotionally challenging. It can evoke feelings of anger, resentment towards yourself or others around you and deep gut-wrenching sadness. Try not to restrain yourself from feeling all of this. Know that it is encouraged to allow these emotions to flow through your heart and soul. Just remember not to get stuck in it.
Remember that in order to move on to the next step you must allow yourself to truly be happy. To also allow yourself to stand firmly in your shoes and truly appreciate, truly be grateful, truly feel joy and truly feel happy. Stop chasing something that isn’t there and stop chasing the impossible. Strive for progress not perfection.
You have everything you need right here and right now. Allah created you to be a beautiful, brilliant, extraordinary soul. Everything you could possibly need is within you. Your experiences, both positive and negative have molded your perception but your essence has stayed the same. You may not see it now, but all of the qualities that you have identified with all along your journey in this dunya are still alive in you. You need to let some walls down, mourn your losses, cherish your gains and open your heart. Open your heart to Allah and let him guide you. He never left you and never will.
“Whoever draws close to me by the length of a hand, I will draw close to him by the length of an arm. Whoever draws close to me by the length of an arm, I will draw close to him by the length of a fathom. Whoever comes to me walking, I will come to him running. ”
- Hadith Qudsi
III. Give yourself what you are worth
If you want to see clearly again, to live clearly again, you have to be willing to break free from your past and the limitations that you have set for yourself. Take a leap in to faith and your heart will feel warmer. Listening and reading stories about our brothers and sisters that have conquered this leap of faith it seems that the results are almost immediate. Sometimes it will be, sometimes it will take time. Allah knows what is best for you, He knows better than you even do.
It is okay if it takes some time for the light in your heart to brighten. You will start to feel like you again. You will learn to decide better decisions instead of tolerating the situation that keeps trying to envelope you. I wish I could tell you that it is easy or that it gets easier. But everyday with every interaction we make with ourselves and those around us are meant to challenge us. Challenge us to make better choices, both big and small.
You can do it. You can manage. You will have ups and downs. Just remember that you deserve it. Be stronger, smarter, faster. Give yourself the love and attention you deserve and the opportunities you deserve will present themselves.
“Wake up eager to succeed and you will’’
- H.R.
Concluding Stage I
These first three steps are very, very big steps. There is no cheat code, there is no shortcut. You have to do the work. You have to sit in your truth and you must persevere. You will face many challenges and you will face many obstacles. Persevere. Because you deserve it. When you are ready, read my next post about Stage II and together we will continue this journey to developing a stronger, wiser you!
